DESCRIPTION
Neither a comprehensive marriage manual, nor a complete exploration of the theological significance of marriage, Friends and Lovers focuses on two key ingredients in a vital marriage: friendship and sexual intimacy. Drawing from the wisdom of the Bible, especially the Book of Proverbs, Joel Beeke shows you how to grow closer to your spouse both emotionally and physically.
About the Author
Dr. Joel R. Beeke serves as President and Professor of Systematic Theology, Church History, and Homiletics at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He has been in the ministry since 1978 and has served as a pastor of his current church since 1986. He is also editor of the Banner of Sovereign Grace Truth, editorial director of Reformation Heritage Books, president of Inheritance Publishers, and vice-president of the Dutch Reformed Translation Society. He has written, co-authored, or edited fifty books and contributed over fifteen hundred articles to Reformed books, journals, periodicals, and encyclopedias. His Ph.D. (1988) from Westminster Theological Seminary is in Reformation and Post-Reformation Theology. He is frequently called upon to lecture at Reformed seminaries and to speak at conferences around the world. He and his wife, Mary, have three children: Calvin, Esther, and Lydia.
EXCERPTS
Table of Contents
Part 1: Friends
Introduction
1. Remember: The Foundation of Friendship in Marriage
2. Nourish: The Cultivation of Friendship in Marriage
3. Resist: The Temptations of Friendship in MarriageAvoiding Correction
Imbalance in Other Relationships
Personal Crises
Part 2: Lovers
Introduction
4. Cherish: Sex Is the Act of Cherishing Each Other as God’s Image-bearers
5. Multiply: Godly Lovers Delight in Multiplication
6. Obey: Sex in Marriage Is Obedience to God’s Commandments
7. Forgive: Sexual Freedom Comes through Forgiveness of Sins
8. Believe: Faith in Christ Empowers Sexual Love
9. Reject: Sex Is More Loving with Self-Denial
10. Appeal: Our Father in Heaven Can Heal Fear and Shame
11. Repent: Sexual Idolatry Requires Repentance
12. Appreciate: Gratitude and Contentment Sweeten Sex
Conclusion
Appendix: Questions to PonderENDORSEMENTS
A book about love, marriage, and sex from Joel Beeke that is surprisingly candid yet without a trace of smuttiness. Putting Puritans in a new light perhaps, Beeke manages, at the same time, to be theologically thorough and pointedly practical. Fresh and refreshingly straightforward, this is the best book of its kind. – Derek W H Thomas, Minister of Preaching and Teaching, First Presbyterian Church, Columbia SC
Marriage is hard work. And wonderful. And sometimes, it’s both at the same time. Friends and Lovers is like a personal mentoring session on marriage with a man whose heart is devoted to seeing Christ honored in how we love each other as husbands and wives. It’s full of practical wisdom and grace. A delight. – Bob Lepine, Co-Host, FamilyLife Today
By laying the theological, emotional, social, and spiritual foundations of marriage before heading to the bedroom, Joel Beeke provides a healthy corrective to the excessive and obsessive sex-focus of our generation and even of some pastors. But, thankfully, he also goes on to provide wise, practical, down-to-earth direction for couples wanting to discover or recover physical intimacy that will both satisfy themselves and honor God. – Dr. David Murray, Professor of Old Testament and Practical Theology, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Central to the historical account of the creation of the human race is the marriage of Adam and Eve, their marriage being utterly vital to God’s purposes for humanity. The pure delight our ancient parents had in each other, touching every aspect of their lives together, was sadly lost at the fall. What this book powerfully shows through the teaching of the Scriptures, though, is that this delight is recoverable to a great degree in Christ. Christian marriages should know a depth of intimacy, in all the best senses of that word, which other marriages do not have. It is a matter of sadness that some do not. Here, the biblical wisdom about marriage in these pages can help enormously. A mini-addendum: I appreciated enormously the way in which the divine gift of human sexuality is handled, with biblical honesty but without any pandering to our culture’s prurient ways. – Michael A.G. Haykin, Professor of Church History and Biblical Spirituality, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
Recently, a number of well known teachers have published books on marriage, some of which have caused quite a stir among Christians. Although these books offer some helpful insights, some are marred by an imbalance and even unbiblical teaching. Dr. Beeke’s book, Friends and Lovers: Cultivating Companionship and Intimacy in Marriage, introduces biblical sanity into the discussion. With characteristic piety, scriptural knowledge, and practical guidelines, Dr. Beeke sets before us these two essential ingredients (friendship and intimacy) for a durable and happy marriage. This book will strengthen the marriage of everyone who reads it. I know it has mine. – Joseph A. Pipa Jr., President, Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary
After years of marriage some of us still have to pray, “Father, forgive me for my sins against those who love me the most.” We never stop needing counsel to better nourish and cherish those who are flesh of our flesh, our co-inheritors of the grace of life. There is no better book than this to renew the affection of happy marriage. – Geoffrey Thomas, Pastor, Alfred Place Baptist Church, Aberystwyth, Wales
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